Intern by 30 Episode 3

They say that early bird gets the worm. While this proverb teaches us to rise early and grab the opportunity while others are still sleeping, it is not too good from the worm’s point of view. Imagine yourself as the worm, waking up early only to get eaten by the early bird. Any sane worm would rather choose to stay in his comfy underground dirt bed and cuddle up with his wife while waiting for the early bird to thin out his competitors.

Nevertheless, this proverb was exactly what Mr. Xorez had in mind. He was eager to start his intern and be the early bird as if they would give him a medal if he is the first one to arrive in the office. And so, he planned. The office starts at 7.30. However, his division is quite far away from the entrance gate. On his first day, he timed it and found out that it took him around 20 minutes to walk from the entrance gate to his desk. This already took into account 5 minutes margin that may be needed in case he encounter some potential wife candidate that he need to stalk. With this calculation, he should wake up at 6.00, wrap himself up in the blanket and pretend that he is a sushifor awhile, take a bath at 6.30, leave his room at 6.50, and finally be at the gate by 7.00. This way, he will be able to reach his desk by 7.20 and show his early bird attitude by greeting everyone with a chicken dance.

In his second day and third day, the early bird strategy worked like a charm. He went it early and clucked like a real rooster. Everyone was slightly impressed. Sadly, it didn’t last long. In his fourth day, he arrived 7.00 at the entrance gate only to be stopped by the guard. Apparently, it was forbidden for an intern to enter the company’s premises before 8.00. The idea is that intern must be watched under someone else’s supervision in order to prevent intern from doing michievous things such as digging his/her nose in public, tap dancing, or the least important one: data/technology theft. In the previous days, Mr Xorez was lucky because the guards didn’t notice his intern ID card.

With him not aware of the rule, he tried to bargain with the guards to let him in and be the early bird but it was all in vain. In any case, he can only get through the gate at no earlier than 8.00.

Being a lowly intern, he had neither bargaining power to ask the guard to let him in nor muscle power to push the guard out of the way. He had no choice but to follow the rule and adapt his early bird strategy. If he cannot be the early bird then the least he can do is try not to be the early worm. And so, Mr Xorez changed his plan. Now, he wakes up at 6.00, sushi-rolls himself, rolls around his bed as a sushi, takes a bath at 7.00, collects some stars in SkyForce Reloaded, and leave his room at 7.45. With this, he is more efficient and less likely to get eaten by the early bird.

Unfortunately, the not-early worm strategy only worked for awhile. As the internship goes by, he had to follow some tests that were to be done as early as 7.00 and sometimes saturday. While he is not even close to useful in the tests nor it is mandatory for him to attend the tests, he was eager to participate in the test. He wanted to learn how the real test is conducted as compared to what he learnt at school. He also, on the side note, wanted to show the other division his chicken dance. Thus, just for the testing days, he needed to switch his strategy back to the early bird strategy again. The only problem though, was how to get past the guard that won’t allow interns to enter the premises earlier than the designated time.

He devised several plans to get him past the guard. The first one was to invent an invisibility cloak that allow him to sneak past the guard unnoticed. But he figured that it won’t work because he must show the guards his intern ID before entering and a flying ID card would freak all the guards. The second one was to dig an underground tunnel past the entrance gate like what Andrew Duffrey did in Shawshank Redemption. But then, he realized that it won’t work because he as an intern must leave his cellphone at the guard’s post and going underground wouldn’t allow him to check in his cellphone. In the end, he asked help from some test crews who are allowed to bring their cars into the company premises to smuggle him in their cars.

And so, during the testing days, Stepen smuggled himself in, attended the tests, and showed everyone else his early bird attitude. He was useless for the tests though.

End of Episode 3

This entry was posted in English Post, Kisah Hidup Stepen OjoNgono, Personal Blog, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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