Intern by 30 Episode 3

They say that early bird gets the worm. While this proverb teaches us to rise early and grab the opportunity while others are still sleeping, it is not too good from the worm’s point of view. Imagine yourself as the worm, waking up early only to get eaten by the early bird. Any sane worm would rather choose to stay in his comfy underground dirt bed and cuddle up with his wife while waiting for the early bird to thin out his competitors.

Nevertheless, this proverb was exactly what Mr. Xorez had in mind. He was eager to start his intern and be the early bird as if they would give him a medal if he is the first one to arrive in the office. And so, he planned. The office starts at 7.30. However, his division is quite far away from the entrance gate. On his first day, he timed it and found out that it took him around 20 minutes to walk from the entrance gate to his desk. This already took into account 5 minutes margin that may be needed in case he encounter some potential wife candidate that he need to stalk. With this calculation, he should wake up at 6.00, wrap himself up in the blanket and pretend that he is a sushifor awhile, take a bath at 6.30, leave his room at 6.50, and finally be at the gate by 7.00. This way, he will be able to reach his desk by 7.20 and show his early bird attitude by greeting everyone with a chicken dance.

In his second day and third day, the early bird strategy worked like a charm. He went it early and clucked like a real rooster. Everyone was slightly impressed. Sadly, it didn’t last long. In his fourth day, he arrived 7.00 at the entrance gate only to be stopped by the guard. Apparently, it was forbidden for an intern to enter the company’s premises before 8.00. The idea is that intern must be watched under someone else’s supervision in order to prevent intern from doing michievous things such as digging his/her nose in public, tap dancing, or the least important one: data/technology theft. In the previous days, Mr Xorez was lucky because the guards didn’t notice his intern ID card.

With him not aware of the rule, he tried to bargain with the guards to let him in and be the early bird but it was all in vain. In any case, he can only get through the gate at no earlier than 8.00.

Being a lowly intern, he had neither bargaining power to ask the guard to let him in nor muscle power to push the guard out of the way. He had no choice but to follow the rule and adapt his early bird strategy. If he cannot be the early bird then the least he can do is try not to be the early worm. And so, Mr Xorez changed his plan. Now, he wakes up at 6.00, sushi-rolls himself, rolls around his bed as a sushi, takes a bath at 7.00, collects some stars in SkyForce Reloaded, and leave his room at 7.45. With this, he is more efficient and less likely to get eaten by the early bird.

Unfortunately, the not-early worm strategy only worked for awhile. As the internship goes by, he had to follow some tests that were to be done as early as 7.00 and sometimes saturday. While he is not even close to useful in the tests nor it is mandatory for him to attend the tests, he was eager to participate in the test. He wanted to learn how the real test is conducted as compared to what he learnt at school. He also, on the side note, wanted to show the other division his chicken dance. Thus, just for the testing days, he needed to switch his strategy back to the early bird strategy again. The only problem though, was how to get past the guard that won’t allow interns to enter the premises earlier than the designated time.

He devised several plans to get him past the guard. The first one was to invent an invisibility cloak that allow him to sneak past the guard unnoticed. But he figured that it won’t work because he must show the guards his intern ID before entering and a flying ID card would freak all the guards. The second one was to dig an underground tunnel past the entrance gate like what Andrew Duffrey did in Shawshank Redemption. But then, he realized that it won’t work because he as an intern must leave his cellphone at the guard’s post and going underground wouldn’t allow him to check in his cellphone. In the end, he asked help from some test crews who are allowed to bring their cars into the company premises to smuggle him in their cars.

And so, during the testing days, Stepen smuggled himself in, attended the tests, and showed everyone else his early bird attitude. He was useless for the tests though.

End of Episode 3

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Intern by 30 Episode 2

One of Mr. Xorez’s roommate back in college used to say, “Each day is the first day of the rest of your life.” While that sentence has no motivational purpose at all and borderline pointless, that sentence somehow got stuck in his head. He used it often to motivate himself when he is not too excited to begin his day. And so he tried to applied the same thing for his current internship.

It was his first day of his internship (and also his first day of the rest of his life). On this fasting period, his office starts at 7.30, so Mr. Xorez woke up at 6.00, got dressed, fooled around a little bit in front of the mirror, and left for the office at 6.45, hoping to arrive at the gate by 7.15. He did. Unfortunately, since he has no intern id card yet, he needs to report to the receptionist, which apparently will not open until 8.00. He looked at his phone,  saw it was only 7.20, and play Skyforce 2014 to kill some time in front of the closed receptionist office in an elegant squatting pose.

8.00 sharp, the receptionist was open and he went in to exchange his id card for a guest badge and rushed to the human resource office to take care of the administration for his internship. After about one hour of paperwork, everything was cleared and he was ready to go to FTC division for some real work. But to his surprise, he was told to go home instead and start the internship on monday (it was friday that day). Apparently, the lovely lady that helped her with the administration tried to called Mr. Xorez’s supervisor in FTC but couldn’t reach him. So, instead of trying to call again after a while, she thought that the best thing to do is to send Mr. Xorez home.

The option of going home and wasting his entire day tindering from bed tempted Mr. Xorez. It was friday anyway and soon most of the employee would be gone for the friday prayer and no one would be at the office. But then that day was the first day of the rest of his life and he didn’t want to waste it for nothing. So he kindly asked the lady for direction to FTC and he went to search for his supervisor. In the end, he did find his supervisor, talked about the work in FTC and the content of his internship, and eventually he sent Mr. Xorez home.

Again, the option of going home and wasting his entire day writing some stupid blog post from bed tempted him. His supervisor sent him home anyway so there is nothing to do about it. But then that day was the first day of the rest of his life and he didn’t want to waste it for nothing. So, he kindly excuse himself as his supervisor asked him and decided to stroll around the factory to see some production line.

It is a big factory complex and there is a lot to explore. Mr. Xorez lightheartedly walked around the factory humming playing FFIX’s Hildegarde soundtrack until a guard stopped him for walking around like a sissy under no supervision from any employee. Mr. Xorez tried to explain to the guard that he was just looking around on his way out and that he was not an industrial spy. He also explained that the only thing he spied lately was just his ex and nothing more. Fortunately, the guard understood him but still concerned and decided to send Mr. Xorez out.

Finally, Mr. Xorez was escorted out from the complex and he looked at his phone. It was only 13.00. He could just just come back home and waste his entire day netflixing from bed. But then, again, it was the first day of the rest of his life. So, instead of coming back home, he decided to go to the mall and watch Wonder Woman saves the entire DC universe.

End of Episode 2

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Intern by 30 Episode 1

Thirty should be a great age. It is the age where your career is on a roll. It is the age where you are financially strong, yet still young and energetic enough to spend it on your own poison. It is the age where you start to have (or maybe even already have) subordinates that you can ask to make a cup of tea for you without any slightest feel of guilt. Hell, maybe you are already a manager and have your own private secretacy, and hopefully a good one, not a sexy one. What’s the difference between good secretary and sexy secretary? Well, a good secretary says “Good morning, sir” while a sexy one says “It is already morning,  sir.”

Anyway, thirty should be a golden age for your carrier. Well if it is not golden, maybe it is silver or bronze, but my point is, your career should already be somewhere in the middle of something and heading towards greatness. Unfortunately, this is not the case for the hero of this story: Mr. Xorez Rotpar. He is almost thirty and yet he is not even close to start a career. In fact, he only just started his internship. And to make matter worse, he is still not sure whether he wants to stay in that company after his internship end. So, it is safe to assume that he is still one step away from starting his career in anything.

Okay, so, what’s the deal with Mr. Xorez? How come he is still nowhere in his very-very late twenties? Well, to answer this question, we have to go back to 2011.

In 2011, Mr. Xorez was a lively not-so-bright-but-has-hopes fresh graduate. Even though his head is slightly inclined to the right by 10degree and can not eat any form of vegetables, he was 24 and ready to conquer the world. The only problem is that he was broke as fuck with a girlfriend that made quite a comfortable living. With that my-girlfriend-makes-more-than-me pressure and his trust-me-i-am-an-engineer pride, he was set to find a good paying engineering job and he did. There was a catch though: it is not too related to his subject of interest. There is another catch: he actually wanted to study abroad and see if he have what it takes to be an awesome banana peeler on international scale. It took him awhile but in the end he ended up convincing himself that that job was the best for him and he took the job.

A <insert some random famous name here> once said, “Never hit back your dream, for it will only fall unconcious temporarily and it will come back at you in forms of regret” and that is what exactly happened to Mr. Xorez. After 4 years of countless overtime (Oh, yeah, there is another catch that I forgot to mention: the job was in Japan), he broke down. He realized that his job was not the job he want to grow old and die doing. His ‘dream’ came back and kicked him so hard in the crotch that he have to wear diaper in order to be able to stand up without peeing. So, he quitted his well-paid job that allows him to buy any Perfect-Grade Gundam plastic model every week, became homeless, and tried desperately to find a way back to a path that he foolishly left. He had a plan though:

1. Find a school in Europe and study his subject of interest

2. Finish the school course in style

3. Find an internship in Europe that allows him to show his greatness in raising Magikarp into Gyarados

4. Get hired as a permanent employee in Europe

5. Start a family with any female who would take him as husband

6. Adopt a healthly cow and name him ‘Big Show’

In his carefully calculated prediction, he thought that he would probably only fail at the fifth step but will manage to clear step 1 to 4 and 6. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as he expected. He was stuck at step 3. He wasn’t able to find any internship in Europe although he has started applying from the beginning of the school course and kept on trying until the end of the school course. Depression slowly grew up to a point where he decided to put ‘Can drink 1.5L of soda in one go’ as his special skill in his CV. Still, nothing came through. Some companies didn’t even bother to write back a rejection. So, he went to the unplanned plan B. He decided to come back to his home country to do his internship in one company that for the sake of Mr. Xorez’s safety, its name shall be kept secret, but for the sake of confusing the audio book reader of this post, lets call this company CANNOT.

While the business that CANNOT do is what Mr. Xorez’s is greatly interested in and it is aligned with the school course that he took, CANNOT was not financially sexy and Mr. Xorez have a lot of sceptism about this company in terms of its working culture. Nevertheless, beggar can’t be chooser. So, he left Europe, went back to his home country in shame, and started his internship in CANNOT. And this is why he is currently still an intern, even though he will be 30 in less than 6 months.

End of Episode 1

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Plumpy Bird’s Design Diary: The End

Originally, after I posted the first post about the plumply bird’s design diary, I was thinking of writing a post every two weeks or so to update the diary as the design progress. Unfortunately, I was so caught up with Overwatch the design process and before I know it, it was already the submission deadline (which is exactly one week ago). So, here we are, skipping the process and jumping right to the end (the design process is boring anyway:D).

Early Doodle of StratoKiwi and StratoDodo

In designing StratoKiwi and StratoDodo, a lot of time was wasted spent on deciding its configuration. Apparently, choosing the aircraft configuration is like choosing a man/woman for your husband/wife. Everyone has their own preferences and every man/woman has their own plus side and minus side and actually it is not hard to find the right spouse for you. However, in choosing aircraft configuration, it is like choosing one spouse to be married by six persons at once. It was a disaster. After a lot of discussion, arguments, death matches, and bribes, we finally agreed to one configuration which is an embedded engine with outboard horizontal and vertical stabilizer (OHVS).

In OHVS configuration, the horizontal tail plane (HTP) is placed on a boom on the wing tip. This is done to take advantage of upwash flow generated by the main wing in order to create a ‘drag-free’ upward lift on the HTP. However, in order for this configuration to work, the HTP must generate upward lift instead of downward lift as in the conventional configuration. As the consequences, in order to be able to trim the aircraft, aircraft’s center of gravity (CG), must be located somewhere between the wing’s aerodynamic center (AC) and the HTP’s AC. However, for the stability of the aircraft itself, aircraft’s CG must be in front of the complete aircraft’s AC. This means that aircraft’s CG must be located somewhere between the wing’s AC and the complete aircraft’s AC. This restriction on CG location ultimately leads to a lot of problem such as the placement of landing gear (in order to obtain the proper load distribution between the nose and main landing gear), the size of the tail (due to the short arm length to CG), and the fuel tank placement (to prevent too much CG travel). Fortunately, after some headbanging and sacrificing some sweets as an offering to the Chocolate Mint Goddess, we managed to complete the OHVS design.

Preparing Offering to the Chocolate Mint Goddess

So, last week, after a couple of sleepless night and unhealthy diet (okay, the unhealthy diet is my lifestyle, it has nothing to do with this project), we submitted the design 10 minutes before the deadline. Of course, a lot of stupid mistakes were found and maybe some calculations were incorrect, but nevertheless, like a digimon tamer that will still loves his partner although he evolve into Numemon, I am so fuckin’ proud of my baby. And here is what my baby (and his oversized VTP) looks like.

StratoKiwi – Three View Drawing

StratoDodo – Three View Drawing

Now, while the work was done and there is nothing that we can do for the competition, I am still thinking of proceeding with making an X-Plane model for both aircraft so that I make a video of it flying and hopefully not crashing. The making of X-Plane model is in progress as this post is written, however, since I am famous for not keeping my promise, don’t get your hopes high.

Stepen

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Plumpy Bird’s Design Diary: The Initiation

Somewhere in early February 2017, a friend told me about an aircraft design competition held by the AIAA. While I have some interest to join that competition, I figured that with all the current workload that I have in Master Specialise, that competition would be too much to handle, especially without a decent team. So I decided not to bother too much about it and just shared it to a closed facebook group of my current Master Specialise’s classmate just for the sake of sharing it. However, it turned out that some people were interested and came to me to talk about it and somehow I ended up in a group of 6 person who are foolish enough to sacrifice their free/sleeping/gaming/dating time to do this competition and we decided to participate for the design of business jet family.

So, before I continue with the story, I am going to introduce these six fearless man/woman. Of course, to protect these team members from public exposure and facebook stalking, I am going to hide their real identity and assign a special code name to them.

The Yellow Queen
The only female in the team and also the team’s manager. Talented in drawing Kiwi bird and artistic toilets, she is responsible for the structure of the aircraft and managing team’s sleeping schedule.

The Big Daddy
The rum smuggler in the team who loves to yodel in his free time. Experienced with atoms and making pasta, he is going to take care of the aircraft’s propulsion system.

The Lover Boy
The youngest on the team who is currently madly in love. With his exceptional skills in Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Premiere, he is going to do all the CAD works for the team and bake us some cake.

The Wrong Guy
A (suspected) undercover intelligent agent with multiple identities. He is joining the competition for leisure and will be handling the aircraft’s aerodynamics.

The GIFer
A man with a lot to GIFe (pun intended) and and incredibly awesome mustache that ended up become our team name and logo. He is tasked to handle the aircraft systems, to calculate cost, and to provide the team with the appropriate GIF for each situation.

Me
A man who loves to stay on a team, do nothing, and take credit for the success. Armed with countless love rejections and his hate for vegetables, he is in charge of the aircraft’s stability and team’s diary.

So, last Thursday, 16 February 2017, we decided to gather up for the very first time to determine the one and most important thing for this competition: the name of the aircrafts. Yes, aircrafts, because we have to design two family aircrafts. We particularly think that the name is crucial to the success of this project as it will dictates our motivation to do this work. After a couple of hours of useless non-sense brainstorming, we ended up naming our aircraft StratoKiwi and StratoDodo, all thanks to our team leader’s compulsive obsession to Kiwi birds and other non-flying plumpy birds. Please keep in mind that in real life, Kiwi is not in anyway related to Dodo. Kiwi came from the ratite family, together with ostriches and cassowaries. Dodo on the other hand, come from the noble family of pigeons. We also came up with our team name: The Flapping Moustache, which is inspired by the two magnificent moustaches that two of our team members have.

After the name is decided, we stayed for a while to do the initial doodling for our aircraft. All possible configurations were explored and a lot of scribbles are made to evaluate feasibility, ranging from the moustache-like canard configuration, moustache-like up-curling wing planform, and the moustache-like V-Tail configuration. Unfortunately in the end we couldn’t agree to one specific configuration before we were hungry, so we decided to just go home and continue later. To end this first diary post, here are some of our scribbles for your viewing purposes. Please keep in mind that this is not a random kindergarten’s drawing.

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Omake: Kisah Nyata Seorang Jejaka yang Dipertemukan dengan Lelaki Impiannya di Negeri Bunga Sakura

Original Post by Dr. Sandra Pekcamkhee: Kisah Nyata; Seorang Gadis yang Dipertemukan dengan Lelaki Impiannya di Pedalaman Papua.

***

Saat keluarga besar saya mengetahui saya akan berangkat ke Kawasaki, Jepang untuk menjadi TKI (Tenaga Kerja Intelek), mayoritas reaksi mereka adalah kaget dan mulai menjejali pikiran saya dengan berbagai macam hal, dari yang bener sampe ke yang bener-bener ga bener.

“Di sana kan susah, mereka pakai tulisan kanji.”

“Di sana kan makanannya mahal semua, nanti kamu makin kurus.”

“Awas jangan keseringan beli Gundam.”

“Nanti kalo pulang ke Indo, jangan lupa bawain Sora Aoi yah.”

Kedengarannya memang absurd, tapi itulah kenyataannya. Saya sendiri tidak terlalu kuatir. Saya yakin Jepang sudah sangat berubah dan tidak seperti yang dibayangkan orang-orang. Sora Aoi, contohnya, udah ga jaman lagi. Sekarang yang lagi naik daun adalah Emiri Suzuhara atau Tsubasa Amami (bagi yang tidak mengerti siapa mereka, ada baiknya anda tidak menggoogle siapa mereka). Saya juga tidak terlalu sering beli Gundam di sana, hanya seminggu sekali dan harga-harga juga tidak terlalu mahal, jikalau kita mau menunggu makanan nyaris basi yang dijual menjelang supermarket mau tutup. Adapun justru yang menjadi kekuatiran utama adalah saya adalah pacar (yang sekarang sudah istri . . . . . . orang lain)

Bahkan saya juga bingung kenapa di postingan original, bagian ini dibikin semacam quote padahal harusnya nyambung aj dengan paragraph sebelumnya.

Saya tiba di Jepang bulan November 2012 dengan sekitar 10 TKI lainnya. Setibanya disana, kami diberi nomor seri dan dicap tapal kuda di bokong supaya ga ilang diambil orang. Saya pun berkenalan dengan salah satu TKi lainnya yang bernama Alvi (bukan nama sebenarnya). Dia lebih muda 2 tahun dari saya, lulusan salah satu universitas di Jogja yang kalah jauh sama ITB (peace, Vi :D). Kesan pertama saya tentang dy sangat baik. Penampilannya rapih dan orangnya ramah dan tidak marah jika saya colek bokongnya.

Ternyata kami sama2 beragama Blopiandihkan (Jomblo kesepian dan menyedihkan) dan suka naik gunung biar terlihat macho sama cewek. Alhasil, kamipun beberapa kali naek gunung bersama dia. Saya suka dengan dia, dia cerdas dan tidak kecentilan seperti saya. Saya pun tahu dia menyukai saya (Asek, pede). Sayangnya, kami mulai jarang bertemu karena jam lebur kami yang cukup intens. Saat saya berangkat ngantor, doi masih tidur, dan saat saya pulang kantor, doi masih ngantor. Alhasil, frekuensi pertemuan kami pun jadi berkurang. Dari pertemuan rutin setiap hari menjadi pertemuan mingguan yang itupun biasanya terjadi gara2 gw mau minta Indomi doi.

Sampai suatu hari dia memberikan saya makanan gratis yang doi salah beli dan tidak bisa makan karena mengandung senyawa TiPaTKaY. Di sanalah dia bertanya apakah saya mau makan makanan salah beli tersebut dan berharap untuk mengenal saya lebih jauh. Pasti tidak romantis buat sebagian orang, mau PDKT tapi malah ngasih makanan salah beli. Tapi bagi saya ini justru ekonomis sekali, ada berkah dalam kepelitan. Saya tidak langsung menjawab saat itu juga, memang saya suka makanan tersebut, tapi gengsi dong.

Saya tidak langsung menjawab iya karena gengsi dan harga diri saya yang sangat tinggi, namun semakin hari saya semakin melihat bahwa makanan2 tersebut nyaris kadaluarsa dan akhirnya saya mengiyakan tawaran doi. Dari sinilah hubungan hibah-menghibahkan makanan salah beli pun dimulai.

Sayangnya, hubungan hibah-menghibahkan kami di Jepang tidak seperti layaknya pasangan-pasangan lain di kota besar. Seperti yang saya ceritakan, makanan yang diberikan adalah makanan salah beli, jadi kalau Alvi ga salah beli makan, saya pun gagal makan gratis.

Tiga tahun kemudian, setelah gw pergi meninggalkan Jepang, Alvi pun kehilangan orang untuk dihibahkan makanan salah beli, namum akhirnya mendapatkan jodoh yang lebih soleha dari gw. Doi pun melepas status BloPianDihkan doi.

Jadi buat sahabat-sahabat pembaca setia blog absurd ini yang masih takut sulit dapat jodoh, ingatlah kisah saya. Optimislah bahwa kalian bisa dapat sumbangan makanan gratis darimanapun. Semoga berhasil!

Tulisan ini dipersembahkan untuk merayakan 1 tahun pernikahan mantan saya 17 Januari yang lalu.

***

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Omake: Curhatan Hati Kami Anak Penerbangan

Dulu, seorang teman cerita ke gw kalau doi mau nyoba nulis dan akhirnya gw pun mencoba memfasilitasi dengan memberikan doi akses untuk nulis di blog ini, yang followernya udah berjuta-juta. Alhasil, doi pun mempublish postingan pertama doi yang gw beri seri tersendiri berjudul Catatan Dokter Spesialis Malpraktek. Sayangnya baru nulis postingan introduction, doi hilang ga ada kabar kaya wanita2 lain pada umumnya setelah seminggu kenal sama gw dan akhirnya serial tersebut pun terbengkalai. Tiba-tiba, 2 tahun kemudian, which is hari ini, doi muncul kembali dan ternyata sudah eksis jadi seorang penulis di website ajubile yang namanya sama kaya bunyi orang cegukan: hipwee.

Gw selaku bos doi pun merasa dihianati dan gw merasa perlu untuk membalas dendam ke doi, karena doi dengan tidak tahu malunya meminta gw untuk men-share article doi. Sebagai sesama penulis, ini hinaan besar bagi gw. Bayangkan kalau anda pergi ke dokter gigi dan tiba-tiba sang dokter gigi make masker karena anda lupa gosok gigi. Pasti malu bukan?

Jadi, dalam rangka balas dendam dan bukan karena gw kehabisan ide untuk nulis di blog gw, maka gw memutuskan untuk membuat ‘omake’ dari setiap postingan doi di hipwee. Bagi yang ga tau apa itu omake, kurang lebih konsepnya sama kaya re-make lah. Hanya saja akan gw sesuaikan dengan kondisi gw instead of kondisi doi. Tentu saja untuk mencapai titik optimum kegaringan postingan ini, pembaca harus terlebih dahulu membaca postingan original doi, share postingan original doi di facebook, dan kemudian baca postingan versi omake gw sambil menyeruput Milo hangat.

So, without further ado here it is, the omake.

***

Original Post by Dr. San Cicongfan: Curahan Hati Kami, Anak Jurusan Kedokteran.

***

“Kuliah dimana, mbak, eh, mas?”

“Di ITB, bu, jurusan Teknik Penerbangan.”

“Oh, mau jadi pilot yah?”

“Bukan, bu, saya engineernya, yang bikin pesawatnya.”

“Oh, mau jadi kaya Habibie yah?”

“Ga, bu, cita-citanya sih mau jadi kaya Channing Tatum, tapi tampang beda tipis.”

Kira-kira demikianlah percakapan yang sering saya alami saat disamperin orang yang dari pakaian dekil saya langsung bisa menebak kalau saya ini mahasiswa rendahan. Sekali, dua kali mengalami percakapan seperti ini, saya masih bisa menanggapi dengan senyum manis, tapi setelah hampir tiap bulan mengalami percakapan seperti ini sekitar 34 kali (Ya, saya menghitung dengan seksama tiap kali percakapan seperti yang di atas terjadi), rasanya pengen lompat dari Grand Canyon sambil teriak “Cicongfan!”

Saya hampir selalu bisa menebak dengan tepat apa pertanyaan berikutnya yang akan disampaikan. Ingin rasanya saya merekam jawaban-jawaban saya dan memutarnya bila ada orang yang bertanya pertanyaan yang itu-itu lagi. Saya cukup yakin rekan-rekan sesama insinyur teknik penerbangan juga mengalami hal serupa. Yang lebih menjengkelkan, seringkali percakapan ini tidak hanya kami dapatkan dengan orang asing, tetapi bahkan ditanyakan oleh keluarga kami sendiri. Mungkin hal-hal seperti ini yang membuat kami seringkali mendapat cap sombong dari orang lain karena kami seakan-akan tidak tertarik untuk bicara dengan orang lain.

Setelah merenungkan dan menganalisa lebih lanjut mengapa percakapan serupa ini selalu terulang terus, saya menyimpulkan bahwa hal ini disebabkan karena kurangnya pemahaman masyarakat tentang jenjang pendidikan teknik penerbangan.

(Okeh, gw ngaku, 2 paragraph ini gw copas persis dari narasumber karena gw bingung mau diplesetin dimananya).

Pertama, yang perlu diketahui sebagai prinsip awal adalah bahwa insinyur teknik penerbangan berbeda dengan pilot. Mereka sejak awal sudah mengambil pendidikan yang berbeda. Insinyur kuliah di universitas, pilot sekolah di sekolah pilot, saya di rumah, nyuci baju. Walaupun demikian, tidak menutup kemungkinan seorang pilot lanjut kuliah untuk jadi insinyur ataupun sebaliknya.

Pilot memiliki spesialisasinya sendiri dan insinyur teknik penerbangan pun demikian. Walaupun demikian, kalau sakit gigi, kedua profesi tersebut harus tetap pergi ke dokter gigi, bukan ke dokter umum, apalagi mantri sunat. (Okeh, gw garing).

Kedua, saya akan mejelaskan sistem pendidikan di Fakultas Teknik Mesin dan Dirgantara. Bagian ini bakalan boring banget kaya postingan originalnya, jadi bagi kalian yang ga betahan, silahkan skip langsung ke bagian akhir.

Saya mulai kuliah teknik penerbangan tahun 2005, dengan status jomblo. Tahun 2009, saya lulus, masih dengan status jomblo. Tahun 2010  saya melepas status jomblo saya, namun 4 tahun kemudian saya harus meratapi nasib dan kembali berstatus jomblo. Berbeda dengan pilot, lulus dari sekolah, kami tidak memiliki pilot license. Jadi, kami bisa bekerja jadi apapun yang kami mau, mulai dari insinyur teknik penerbangan, MT di bank, sampe ke jadi pedagang jamu, tapi tidak bisa sebagai pilot. Beberapa sekolah di luar negeri, seperti sekolah saya saat ini di ISAE, memiliki fasilitas pelatihan yang memungkinkan muridnya untuk mengambil private pilot license yang mana sangat berguna untuk menambah perspektif kami sebagai insinyur. Walaupun demikian, untuk menjadi pilot airline, sekolahnya biasanya berbeda dan lebih spesifik.

Jadi, jika anda bertanya, saya menjawab saya kuliah teknik penerbangan, ketahuilah bahwa saya adalah bukan pilot. Jika saya menjawab saya tidak mau ikutan MLM, janganlah juga memaksa-maksa saya. Karena kata Tora Sudiro, lebih baik jadi gigolo daripada ikutan MLM.

Demikian penjelasan dari saya, semoga bisa mencerahkan sahabat-sahabat Hipwee sekalian. Sekali-sekali tanyalah kepada kami tentang hal-hal menarik dari profesi atau suka duka kami menjadi insinyur teknik penerbangan, daripada hanya bertanya pertanyaan yang mainstream dan membosankan. Mohon jangan menyalahkan kami juga jika saat itu baru terjadi kecelakaan pesawat karena most likely we have nothing to do with it. Instead, you can ask yourself why you abuse the overhead cabin luggage or why you can’t wait until the airplane is completely stopped and the seat belt sign is off before getting off your seat :D.

Kami sebenarnya sama dengan kalian. Sama-sama bertanggung jawab di bidang masing-masing, lalu mengemban amanah dari orang tua serta masa depan diri sendiri. Please, jangan menganggap kami ini istimewa, karena kami memang tidak istimewa. Gaji kami jauh lebih kecil dibandingkan pilot dan kami kemana2 tidak dikelilingi pramugari yang dasternya sobek sampe pangkal paha. Walaupun demikian, we will do it anyway because we think it is the second most awesome job in the world, right after baby panda caretaker.

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Okeh… Demikianlah kira2 postingan gw. Terima kasih kepada San2 atas penghianatannya dan semoga sukses berkarir di situs yang namanya sama sama kaya bunyi orang cegukan.

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